The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
pray to the hookup gods
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
