If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
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