he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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