i would punch a child for taco bell
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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