I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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