ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize