singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
