did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
