Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Randomize
