I hope mine doesn't look like that
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
