So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
soo... how was my night?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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