hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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