He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
