I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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