When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
