How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
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