I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
