hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
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my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
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I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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