I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
