sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
