He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
