therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
