You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
