Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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