the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize