HIV tests are more positive than that guy
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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