i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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