I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The Olympian is in my bed
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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