I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
