Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize