i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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