Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
