I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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