I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
