I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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