There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
