The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
