Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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