please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Girls should come with a carfax report
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
