Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
