I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
