at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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