Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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