I wanna passion pit in your ass
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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