A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
