I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
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It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
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my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Our lives are a motherfucking joke