shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT