Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  I've decided to bang my pen-pal.

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  (210): I've decided to bang my pen-pal. http://tfl.nu/dcyn
  Replies (35) Good night (3877) Bad night (601)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.

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  (907): I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are. http://tfl.nu/tm8o
  Replies (36) Good night (3689) Bad night (1005)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.

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  (814): I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer. http://tfl.nu/ef74
  Replies (3) Good night (1525) Bad night (851)
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  (510): View more from California

  Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.

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  (510): Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals. http://tfl.nu/vphu
  Replies (16) Good night (2449) Bad night (805)
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  (805): View more from California

  Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.

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  (805): Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes. http://tfl.nu/kjws
  Replies (4) Good night (1279) Bad night (603)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey

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  (508): He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey http://tfl.nu/jy2i
  Replies (9) Good night (1721) Bad night (528)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.

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  (+61): Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride. http://tfl.nu/wxrx
  Replies (6) Good night (1635) Bad night (570)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.

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  (479): I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk. http://tfl.nu/vgj4
  Replies (7) Good night (1201) Bad night (413)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.

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  (763): FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth. http://tfl.nu/ynrg
  Replies (2) Good night (1182) Bad night (691)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.

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  (208): He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something. http://tfl.nu/lajo
  Replies (6) Good night (843) Bad night (305)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes

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  (864): I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes http://tfl.nu/i59t
  Replies (0) Good night (516) Bad night (293)
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  (516): View more from New York

  guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys

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  (516): guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys http://tfl.nu/a0n0
  Replies (2) Good night (630) Bad night (350)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...

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  (608): I just used crown royal bags as pot holders... http://tfl.nu/4auc
  Replies (6) Good night (602) Bad night (296)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves

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  (772): its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves http://tfl.nu/3m9t
  Replies (3) Good night (579) Bad night (303)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.

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  (616): I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside. http://tfl.nu/l42r
  Replies (2) Good night (262) Bad night (623)

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