Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
where am i from again
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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