Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
