Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
