You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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