I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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