you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I think a kid would responsible me up
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize