real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
