oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
