I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
