Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
