wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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