Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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