Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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