Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
