Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.

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(425): View more from Washington

It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.

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(562): View more from California

he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(847): View more from Illinois

Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party

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(480): View more from Arizona

I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.

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(619): View more from California

If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho

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(801): View more from Utah

He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.

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(650): View more from California

I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.

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