Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.

  (972): View more from Texas

  I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.

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  (214): I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had. (972): I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes. http://tfl.nu/y4qf
  Replies (13) Good night (2246) Bad night (524)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.

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  (843): trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts. http://tfl.nu/p33l
  Replies (17) Good night (524) Bad night (1956)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?

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  (404): I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of? http://tfl.nu/2d4m
  Replies (21) Good night (658) Bad night (5212)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Turn them off?

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  (419): Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day? (216): Turn them off? http://tfl.nu/9fwv
  Replies (20) Good night (4047) Bad night (600)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."

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  (404): I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard." http://tfl.nu/a58r
  Replies (13) Good night (4210) Bad night (576)
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  (585): View more from New York

  you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser

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  (585): you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser http://tfl.nu/abu5
  Replies (5) Good night (2125) Bad night (768)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  "thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.

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  (213): "thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups. http://tfl.nu/qpz7
  Replies (17) Good night (3115) Bad night (1200)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.

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  (508): It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode. http://tfl.nu/vudg
  Replies (4) Good night (2311) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.

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  (405): The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore. http://tfl.nu/c65h
  Replies (4) Good night (1004) Bad night (439)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.

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  (512): Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway. http://tfl.nu/39nz
  Replies (1) Good night (586) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.

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  (503): My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again. http://tfl.nu/bmoz
  Replies (7) Good night (1290) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.

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  (503): Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in. http://tfl.nu/pa8o
  Replies (7) Good night (1749) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (463): View more from

  I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.

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  (463): I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file. http://tfl.nu/era2
  Replies (8) Good night (604) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  We're going to party like we don't have spanx on

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  (517): We're going to party like we don't have spanx on http://tfl.nu/7l0f
  Replies (0) Good night (511) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.

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  (416): I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment. http://tfl.nu/fg5i
  Replies (2) Good night (541) Bad night (204)

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