R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.