so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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