I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
