How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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