either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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