end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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