I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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