You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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